Accidents Happen

This has just not been my week. For some reason my alarm did not go off this morning and I woke up 30 minutes late. So, i was running around trying to get showered, dressed and everything ready in 30 minutes. That, of course, meant that I was getting the girls up late. Both of them were sleepy mode this morning and didn't want to walk down the stairs. Trying to save time I picked up Rachel with my left arm and Bekah with my right. Off we went. Somewhere around the second or third step from the bottom my left foot slipped out from underneath me and down we all went. I instinctively held tight to the girls and somehow managed to fall backwards and hang on the both girls. Bekah slipped down on my side but didn't fall.

I have no idea what I landed on, just that I felt major pain in my neck and shoulders. I asked Bekah if she was alright and got, "I'm just a fine, Mommy." I was sitting on the last step trying to catch my breath, and Rachel said, "Mommy, hurt?" I told her that yes, mommy was hurting. So, Bekah leaned over and kissed my shoulder and said, "All better now, Mommy." It was very sweet. I do wish I could have fixed it all.

Unfortunately, after dropping the girls off getting into work I could barely move my head and neck. I told my supervisor what had happend and she told me to get to the doctor. I got my case that was going to court today ready in case I didn't make it back and headed out to my Chiropractor. The verdict was Whiplash. Not fun. She adjusted my neck and back and told me that I would really be sore tomorrow. I guess nothing I can do about it now.

Lesson learned: Taking one girl down that stairs at a time really doesn't take that much more time

What is that saying?

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Right? I am pretty sure I experienced this first hand yesterday in a courtroom. I got totally blasted by a judge yesterday for not only not having the most recent drug test of a mother and father on one of my cases (even tho I was told I did have them by the parents), but also because I did not test the mother for Methadone, which is a legal substance in Oklahoma. However, I am now under a court order to test her for this, which I am pretty sure violates her civil rights. Hmmm....but, nothing for me to do as I have NO power. C'est La Vie! I suppose... I am counting down the days until next week, vacation here I come!!!!!

Upping the Ante

This week I am going from a 20 minute interval run to 25 mintes. I also ran for 5 solid at the end, which was not easy. It had been a long day at work and I was tired, so that was a challenge for me. But I'll keep it up and do it again tomorrow!

A friend from church who is a foster -soon to be adoptive- parent and I are considering starting a small group at our church for those who are foster parents or who are considering being foster parents. We think that in a church of 10,000 there has to be something we can do to create support for foster parents and also to recruit those who might be considering becomeing foster parents. So, keep us in your prayers as we consider what we can do to help provide for these kids in need. Currently the state of Oklahoma has approximately 14,000 children in state custody and only 7,000 available placements. That means a lot of these kids have to stay in shelters, group homes and other various places that aren't exactly a warm and loving environment. These kids are in the system thru no fault of their own and deserve some love and stability, even for only a short time.

And 1 more makes 4!

Happy 4th Anniversary to my Fantastic, Helpful, Understanding husband! This is not the best picture I have of our wedding day, but it was the one most available, so it's the one you get tonight! :) It's hard to believe it's been 4 years. Really, that's such a short amount of time, but it feels much longer -- in a good way, though. So, SO much has happened in these last four years, I never would have guessed on this day four years ago that we would have: 1) Both made major career changes 2) struggled and beat the monster of infertility 3)expanded our family by 2 members 4) sold two houses and bought one 5) endured 12 of the most excruciating weeks of Hep C treatment for Fred, only to have it fail. It's really been something! And, while there have been times that have been very tough, I would not trade a minute of my years with my wonderful Fred! We have been so blessed!

Thank you, Fred, for being the wonderful man you are and being my rock of support. You make me smile and feel special every day! You are truly a gift from God! I love you!

A fried of ours who graduated seminary recently told us that it is not suggested that people make more than one major life change in a year's time. I can't think of a year when we had less than one major life change. We've made it thru and are more devoted to each other now than we were then. No matter how life changes, at least I know that as long as we are here on this earth my Fred will be right beside me.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

My sweet, tiny, demure little Bekah told me a big fib for the first time on Saturday. I had made sausage for breakfast at the request of said tiny one. She was the only one eating it, so I knew when I saw sausage on the floor by a little wooden rocking chair, where it came from. I said, "Who made this mess on the floor?" Big brown eyes looked up at me and said, "Elbis did it!" Hmm...last time I checked, Elvis, being a cat and all, didn't eat sausage. I explained to Bekah that Elvis didn't eat any of the sausage, only Bekah did. So, I asked my question again. The tiny little one looked at me and pointedly restated, "Mmmmoooommmeeee!!!!!!! Elbis DID it!!"

I hate to admit it, but I was fighting hard to keep from laughing on one hand, and crying on the other. I can't believe they have gotten to the point of understanding how to lie! AGH! Where are my litle girls going?! Bekah had to sit in the naughty chair for her deed, and after that fessed up to her doings. My work has only just begun.

2 Down - Countless days to go

I mentioned a while back that I had agreed to run a 5k in October. I started running Tuesday using this plan. The first day was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. Today was a little more difficult than I expected. HA! Things really never are what you expect. I have no idea why this would be, but no matter, I did it!

Tomorrow is my very last day of CORE training. That means next week I go to work in the "real world." I actually enjoyed being in class. It was kind of nice just go to class, yak with coworkers on break, think about what I was having for lunch. It was almost like being in highschool again, only not as much homework!

I did have to conduct a mock interview today on video. OY! I hate watching and hearing myself on video. I hope that I did OK with it. I have to say that after watching training videos of how interviews should go, my skills are rudimentary at best. I know it's something you learn over time and experience, but to think I will have to be doing this for real starting next week is more than nerver-wrecking!

I wish I had a fast forward button to skip the "learing process" at the beginning. But, even our very seasoned instructors say they still make mistakes in interviews. I guess the human factor means mistakes are always present, no matter how competant of an interviewer you are.

I just had to post that Bekah peed on the potty today! YAY! I know that's not a lot of excitement for most of you, but I am SO proud of her!

Rachel still has no interst, LOL. I am not worried yet. Now, if she turns 5 and is still saying, "No yike pee pee potty" then I'll be concerned. =)

My chicken turned out great! Thanks again to Earle-girl for the recipe!

Now, as promised, a real update!

Things are going very well here, just very busy. I have this week and next week left in training. Then, they cut me loose. I hope I can keep myself together, learn not to take things so personally where attorney's and judges are concerned, and find a medium between wanting to bring all these kids home with me or just run the other direction. The thought of holding the future of a family in my hands is an awesome responsibility that I am not sure I could ever really be prepared for.

I had planned to start my Couch to 5k running program yesterday, but, alas, my best made plans were laid to waste when I was released from class early only to find my car deader than a doornail! Luckily, a couple of girls helped me push it to a different spot (hooray for a standard) and gave me a jump. I made it to my parent's house to get the girls, and there my dad took over. He cleaned the battery cables, tested it, replaced the cables - all to determine it was "failing under load" - whatver that car speak means?! I am just thankful dad knows! =) Daddy's are great! So, off we went to get a new battery! It was about 8 when I made it home last night, and after all that excitement I just did my regular exercise. But, I will do it! OH! This week also marks a year since I reached my goal weight and celebrated a 65 pound weight loss! WOHOO!

In girl news, they had their first real word argument the other night. We were coming home from dinner with some friends when it just barely started to rain. Rachel said, "It's rainin'! Get umbredella (umbrella)". A couple of seconds later we hear Bekah quietly say, "It's not rainin'." Rachel reacted and responded, "It's rainin', Bekah!" "It's not rainin', Chachel!" "IT'S RAININ' BEKAH!!!!!!!" It was too funny!

P.S. Earle-girl, I am trying your chicken recipe tomorrow night! Hope it works out! =)

My poor neglected blog

It's been so long since I posted an update, I promise to do it tomorrow, but it's too late tonight and I am too tired. :)

Caution! Kids at Play!

The girls are just too much fun lately. They are always saying the funniest things. This morning while they were still in their beds I was getting their bag ready to go, I was listening to Bekah on the monitor. It went something like this:

"Mommy? Mommy! Bekah's stinky!!" something inaudible, "What Darlin'?" said two or three times. "Ok, Mommy Chachel's up now, come oooonnnnn!"

Then tonight when they pulled down Daddy's bead curtain, Rachel says, "Oh! Dear me!" HAHAHA! I think that one came from a Pooh toy they have.

Tonight while I was making dinner Fred called me into the playroom. This is what I found.
Bekah had cleared all the books off that shelf and decided it would be a good place to hang out, I guess.
Rachel was busy playing with their farm animals. Here she is laying on top of the play table.

They are just so much fun right now. I wish I could just put things on pause for a while and enjoy this all for a little longer.

Bekah's Big Day

Today a major thing happened in toddler world! Bekah pooped on the potty! HOORAY!!!! At first she didn't seem to understand. She said "Uh Oh!" and seemed concerned she had done something wrong. We really cheered for her and I think in the end she felt ok with it, but I don't expect this will be a regular occurance yet. But I am excited none-the-less.

In other news I have agreed to run the race for the cure in October with a couple of girls from my new job. One is currently pregnant and due at the end of June. I figure if she can do it, then I should be able to. So, I am going to try this running "thing" again. I guess I better go find my Couch to 5K running plan and dust it off. I have to say tho, until it's really spring (we are expecting snow tomorrow) I am not even going to attempt it. I'm just a wuss. =)

Testing...Testing..1..2..3..

Does this thing still work?!

Well, I just finished a huge marathon reading tour this last week. A wide variety of subjects from domestic violence to poverty to the history of our agency. This morning I had to take a test on all of it. It's been quite a while since I have had to take a test so I was a little nervous. I wanted to do really well because the results for the class are emailed to every supervisors with students in this class. I missed 6 out of 58 and scored a 90. Not bad, but the perfectionist in me is not that happy. I had three of them right and second guessed myself and ended up missing them, BLEAN! Oh well, I guess a 90 will suffice.

I am behind on my Bible reading by about two weeks, but I am hoping I can catch up. I am also catching up on laundry and housework and everything else -- and I want to go back to school????? Makes me a little tired just thinking about it.

No other news really. We finally got nearly two inches of much needed rain this weekend. Hopefully it will abate the high fire risk we have been under for so long.

And for good measure, a Bekah funny:
Grandma: "Bekah, can grandma have a bye-bye kiss?"
Bekah: "No, it's all papaw's! ....Bekah's weally punny" (cute giggling)

I'm no Chicken....

Cook, that is. I have such a hard time cooking chicken?! I don't get it?! For some reason I always seem to either end up with "blackened" chicken or it's just not quite done. UGH! I really enjoy eating it, I just don't know why I can't seem to find a good way to make it. Steak I can do, veggies, bread made from scratch...I've got it down. Chicken, however, seems to be the bane of my cooking life.

I was making it last night and ended up with a smokey house. So, I invite everyone, if you have some good ones, please share your chicken cooking tips with me. Poor Fred can't take much more of it! =)

The new job

I started a whole new life (work wise) on Monday. I am totally and completely swimming in a sea of regulations, rules, and work. I start my training on the 20th, but before I can do that I have a long list of things to read and do. Just the regulations of law alone are enough to make me insane. Not to mention I have to take a test on it all the first day of training.

I have been shadowing workers all week as they do different things. I have been to court to watch workers like myself testify before the judges and DA's about whether the parent (most of the time, mother) is completeling her drug treatment plan and testing negative for drugs. I have supervised a visition between parents and child, and then today I visited a local hospital that had called for the third time today to report a baby born who tested positive for Meth.

I have to say it is going to be very difficult to find that place within myself where I can get over my anger and be empathetic enough to try to get the parents to a place where they want to help themselves enough to be responsible parents. Unfortunately, the caseworkers tell me that more often than not, parental rights are terminated. I cannot even imagine.

This morning when I dropped the girls off with my mom Rachel had the first ever "Mommy don't leave me" meltdown. I supposed I should count my blessings we made it this far, but by the time I actually did get out the door I was crying right along with her. As a drove to work after that, I thought about all the things I had seen in just my two short days on the job. I was so afraid I was being a dissapointent to Rachel, as a mother, and here I was working with mothers who felt no remorse for subjecting their poor unborn children to a life sentence of debilitating problems. It's going to really take a lot of learning on my part to understand the process of thought of some of these people. Well, understand may not be the right word. I don't know that I will ever understand, but you get the idea.

I fear the hardest lesson will be the one that comes with no instructions, regulations or books, and that will be the emotional lessons. Getting past my indignation and anger and finding compassion enough to try to help these mothers. I think the thing that is going to humble me the most is thinking that Christ not only gave his life for me, but He did the same for that drug addicted mother sitting across the table from me. If He can love her that much, I can learn to do it too with His help.

A Perfect Day

It is a most glorious first day of March! The sun is out, the wind is only slightly blowing and it's 86 degrees! What a shame to be inside. I went out for about 15 minutes just to enjoy it. They are renovating an old hotel across the street. Looks like they are restoring the original facade and it's going to look nice.

I am down to only four cases left here at work. Everything else is all squared away and delegated out. My office is really looking sparse. Little by little this week I have taken home most of my belongings. I still can't bring myself to take the pictures off the wall. =)

Not much in the way of other news. Well, we are finally getting our hot tub rewired after our move two years ago. It's just been sitting outside, loney and neglected all this time. Life has really changed from two years ago! I am sure we'll still have some chilly nights to get some good use out of it. After all, this is Oklahoma and if there's one thing you can count on with the weather, it's inconsistent. HA!

A joyful announcement!!!!!

This day belongs to my dear twin mom friend, Tracy! She announced an addition to her family today! A little girl, who will come to them from China! I still have chills reading the big news!!!!

The mourning has begun

One week from today I will be closing the door on what has been one of the biggest building blocks of my life. I am still not sure I will ever feel ready to leave. All of my work is starting to get passed on, but I feel this need to hang on to it for some reason. I am having a harder time letting go of it than I imagined. Wathcing someone else doing "my" job has been like fingernails scratching a chalkboard for me.

There's a box over in the corner of my office that I was finally able to pack away some of my things in, but I couldn't bear to see it sitting there so now it's behind the desk. I am still not ready to take my pictures off the wall. Despite all the angry callers, crazy cases and never ending work, I really will miss all of this. I am sure next week is going to be even worse...

*sigh*

I need a good baby girl hug and sloppy kiss and all will be right with the world again.
OK, I feel better now =)

In a world of "E's"

If it's not Exodus it's Elmo. Seriously, how many times can one enjoy "Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland" before they are reduced to a babbling shell of what they once were? Padded cell anyone? Sign me up! I am sure there is a waiting list of mothers of two year olds just waiting to escape the Elmo world their children wish to live in. I woke up singing "it's all about your point of view, in life it's all about your point of view." Sung by the "Queen of Trash" in the aforementioned flick.

The thing is, it's a seriously cute movie if you don't have to watch it 3 times a day. Yes, I know, the parenting Nazi's can gasp with horror at this fact, but sadly it's true. Call me crazy, but even at three times a day it's still easier to listen to Mandy Patinkin sing than screams of "ELMO BLANKET BACK NOW!" all day long. OY!

My exegesis of Exodus

I am finding it so difficult to get thru Exodus. I am struggling to keep up with my daily reading simply because I feel almost like I have read the same thing over and over again. It's really great if you need exact instructions on slaughtering a bull or lamb, building a temple or what to wear if you are a priest. I don't really mind reading it, but I feel like it gets repeated about 4 times at least by now -- three more chapters. I can make it!

We have quite a bit of snow on the ground here. It's very pretty if you don't have to drive on it. Today brought a full day of freezing rain, not so good. I guess the weather is trying to remind us that winter is not over. The good news is I don't have to work tomorrow. Yeehaw!

Long time coming

It's been a while since I updated this thing. Really nothing much to write about. I am busy busy at work trying to get everything ready to leave for someone else. That has kept me more than occupied.

Valentine's day was nice. Fred and I went on a date to celebrate on the 13th (so much less crowded). We had dinner at this nice little English restaurant. The Shepard's pie was great! Then we went and tried out new mattresses. We are seriously thinking of purchasing a Sleep Number bed. I must say after trying it out, I really want one!

I am also on a quest for the "perfect" black business/dress shoes. I have been searching for a couple of weeks without luck. Something with a heel between 2.5" and 3". A shoe that would transition well for Spring. I can't decide between a round or pointy toe. Here are a few I have seen that I would consider, but I can't say that if I left the store without them I would be heartbroken. These I think are nice, and of course, Fred loves them because they have "Carlos Snatana" attached to them. I love this one, but it's really more money than I wanted to spend. *sigh* Surely somewhere out there is the great vast world of black shoes is a pair that is cute, affordable and just waiting to become my favorite!