As with any type of exercise, there are days when one struggles more so than other days. Whether it be physically or mentally, if you're truly trying to affect change in your body you will experience a battle. As I ran tonight, even tho the afternoon was beautiful, the temperature just right and lightest of breezes blowing just enough to cool me off, I battled with myself to finish the 5 mile weekday run I have done so many times over the last few months I could practically do it in my sleep (I think, not really going to test that one out).
I wanted to walk so badly about mile 3, but with my music blaring thru my earbuds, I just started yelling at myself in my head. "You are NOT a quitter. You are a runner NOT a walker. Just suck it up buttercup, you got this. It's all mental til you pass out, then it's physical. I can do ALL THINGS because Christ gives me strength." OK, good pep talk Sarah....and so on I went.
Mile four hit and I started feeling that old foot issue. I was mad, I could feel my ears burning. I could feel those thoughts coming back. Maybe I should just walk a minute, it's just a minute. Just about the time I had almost convinced myself I would do it. I heard a voice in my head say (yes, I hear voices are you scared now? :P). "You'll regret it. Just EFFING FINISH IT! Don't be a damn quitter" Oops!
Then I wondered to myself....a mile ago I was quoting the Bible to myself, now I'm cussing. I wonder what the heck is wrong with me. Does it count that I only cuss at myself and that I only do it in my head? Oh wait, isn't there a verse that says something like as a man thinks so he is....oh my, I'm a potty mouth. I'm a silent potty mouth, wanna-be quitter...Oh look, I just hit five miles. I'm done! Wohoo! I'll ponder this potty mouth question on the next run, where's the water?