All I need to know I learned in 2011...

There are not words descriptive enough to convey my elation that this year is days from being over.  If you have had any contact with me whatsoever in the last month you have undoubtedly heard the words "2012 BELONGS to me! Next year is going to be a GREAT year for me."  Just in case you were in doubt, these are not empty words ringing in your ears from my mouth.  I mean them and I believe them with all my heart. 

I have been thinking of all the happenings of this year, of the lessons it has taught me, what I have learned about myself and what I have learned about others.  So tonight I hope you don't mind if I share some of these things with you. 

• I cannot manage to keep my car clean.  This year I have accepted this sad truth and shall deal with myself accordingly.
• A garbage disposal is more important than you think (My letter to Santa was apparently lost in the mail.  Still don't have one!)
• One spur of the moment decision can change your life forever - (IE...going home early from work unannounced; chasing down your wayward cat....need I go on?)
• People can be amazingly mean and hurtful - on purpose
• True friends are worth more than all the gold in the world. They are the ones that will stand beside you when the crap is flying
• Guard your heart, nobody else can do it right
• When it comes down to it, for once in my life, I want a man who will fight for me - because I'm worth the effort
• I have learned in the most cruel of lessons how it feels to be used, betrayed and devastated
• I'm a little bit crazy - and I'm OK with that.
• Exercise is is my sanity. It's as good for my mind as my body
• It's OK to let go, and it's OK to dream new dreams (although this is much harder to convince myself of some days)
• Blondes do not necessarily have more fun
• The iPhone 4S's Siri can be great entertainment, especially when she advises your sister to go to the "bitch gym" and tells her to watch her language
• If you hear high heels, don't automatically assume it's a woman
• Just when you think your heart can't possibly break anymore, it does
• There are people who actually mean it when they say "I'm praying for you"
• Being strong comes out of necessity, not by choice
• An "I love you" from your child can save you on a day when you think it's all for naught
• It is possible to be feeling the highest of highs at 2am and the lowest of lows by 2pm on the same day
• How it feels to inexplicably find yourself in tears while doing the most routine and mundane of tasks, and you can't even explain why
• The value of a smile over the smallest of things
• Never underestimate the power of 8 consecutive, uninterrupted hours of sleep
• Good coffee is a pleasure not to be taken lightly
• Leaving your egg and cheese sandwich on top of the car as you hurriedly back out of the driveway is not advisable and does nothing for a set of dishes or your screaming tummy
• Low expectations of everyone is not necessarily a bad thing and can save you much disappointment and heartache
• The true meaning of Grace and Forgiveness and how both are necessary not so much for others as for your own peace and contentment
• $h!t happens, but I'm not a victim and I am not pitiful.  I am powerful
• What a true comfort music is - playing it, listening to it and wallowing in it
• The healing gift of laughter and what a gift God gave me in my uncanny propensity to laugh at ridiculously stupid things until water comes out my nose and tears are flowing
• The true meaning of "state of shock"
• Real, true, deep heartbreak and pain is not something you "get over." Rather it is something you learn to live with
• I really love to dance, especially in the living room with the girls when they shake their head and say "Mommy, you are so embarrassing!" :)
• Taking the high road generally sucks, but is usually the right and adult thing to do
• Mixing to much tequila and beer with the worst birthday in the history of all birthdays results in dances with sweaty bull riders, men who bathe in cologne and the involuntary testing of the "upchuck reflexes" and brings no sleep and absolutely no comfort.  Trust me, you don't wanna go there
• Being nice does not equate to being a doormat. My feelings are just as important as anybody else's
• How much I love that my girls say "KABLOOEEE!!!!" and "Oopsies"  - I'll be sad when they stop
• God still has good plans for my future and my girls

And THE most valuable thing I learned this year is: God IS with me, God WAS with me, and He WILL ALWAYS be with me.  No matter how much I may feel alone, I'm not.

The more I give thee, the more I have. For both are infinite - William Shakespeare

"...and a pawtwidge in a peah twee!"

This morning as I was brushing my daughter’s hair for school she was happily singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” which mostly consisted of her singing the words “something something something” and “Mee mee mee meee mee mee” (think Beaker from the Muppets here) to the melody of the song until she busted out loudly “FIVE GOLD RINGS!!!!” Then she counted down, “Four calling birds, three something hens, two turtle dumbs…” I started laughing, “WAIT!!! Rachel, did you just say two turtle DUMBS!?” I asked. “Yes!” she looked at me with that “Duh, mom” face, like I had just asked her if the sky was blue. “It’s not two turtle DUMBS it’s two turtle DOVES!” Then came that other look, you know, the one your kid gives you when they think you are the biggest moron in the world and they know better, and she retorted, “TURTLE DOVES??!!” throwing her hands up in the air to question me. “That doesn’t even make any sense! How can turtles be doves?” She pretended to ignore this discovery of new information and went on about her song, “Two turtle dumbs…” she sang. Then with her little sweet lisp she finished it off, “…and a pahtwidge in a peah twee!!” By this time I was laughing so hard I was crying. I know, I know, it’s not nice to laugh at your children, but sometimes it just simply cannot be helped.

We have all undoubtedly heard, and many of us can dutifully recite, the lyrics of the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” I would wager a guess that most everyone gets a little tangled up on the “twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing…” part, then you can sort of pick it up again at the “eight maids a-milking” usually. If you ask someone where they think the song came from and what they think it means you get a wide plethora of opinions.

Most believe it’s just a lover’s song written about gifts given to woo and win a coveted heart. Last year it was said that the total cost of all the gifts in the song totaled would cost you $23,439. Quite an expensive Christmas! Not to mention, what would one do with Twelve Drummers Drumming – that would get old fast! I certainly don’t have any place to keep eight maids a-milking and their cows…I’m afraid my barn just crumbled to bits last year. Ten Lords a-leaping – well, I’ll FIND a place to keep them! 

There has also been a deeper scholarly opinion written about the song. That it was written during a time in England when practicing Catholicism was a punishable crime and the song was a Catechism Song with each gift representing things such as Jesus (Partridge in a pear tree), to the twelve points of the Apostle’s Creed (twelve drummer’s drumming), and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (Seven swans a-swimming).

No matter what the case it’s quite a catchy little song with renditions ranging from The Muppets to more serious singers such Burl Ives, Bing Crosby and John Denver. My very favorite version of this song was done by the group Straight No Chaser, an acapella group of guys whose talent and creativity in arranging music is as good as their vocal talent. So, please take a couple of minutes and enjoy the Twelve Days of Christmas and have a smile. C’mon you know you can’t help it when you hear this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8&feature=relmfu

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells...

So, who can have Christmas without the song Jingle Bells?! Nobody! But here’s something you may not have known. Jingle Bells was written by James Pierpont in 1850 depicting stories of sleigh races held on Salem Street in Massachusetts in the early 1800’s. Oh, and did I also mention it was written and sung for Thanksgiving originally? Seems very strange to me, but perhaps back in the 1800’s sleigh races were to Thanksgiving what Football is to Thanksgiving these days.


It’s also strange that this of all Christmas songs has probably had the most paradies done of it than any other. I know you can all think of a few remakes of it…”Jingle Bells, Batman smells…” …you undoubtedly get the gist. Jingle Bells was the very first Christmas song my girls ever learned to sing, and of course, the very first one they learned an alternative version of as well.

No matter what the case, every time I hear it I have to sing along. It’s a fun happy song and I think of what it might have been like to live back in the days of horses and sleighs. Piling into one with your sweetheart and snuggling down under blankets and next to heated bricks to see the snow covered country side on your way to a grand Christmas party. My imagination is probably a lot more pleasant than it actually was, but a girl can dream right? I personally think sleigh races would be a lot of fun, but I’m sure I would likely have offended someone back in that day because I tend to be a bit unconventional at times, and not always on purpose either…I probably would have tried to manage the sleigh myself or hiked my skirt up a little far and accidently shown my ankles or something ridiculously inappropriate like that. Who knows. But it sounds like a fun time long before the age of technology ruined outdoor creativity and such.

Anyway, enough of my silly ramblings for the evening. I leave you with my new favorite version of this song, sung by the ever-so-nice-to-behold, Michael Buble! I love it because the energy of his version matches what I think the song was originally about. Plus the upright bass is totally rockin’!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf1_KykYpYs

Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever stop to think what life must have been like for Mary?  How it must have felt to have the angel Gabriel appear to you to tell you that YOU of all girls have been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God? Overwhelming doesn’t even begin to cover it.  Only heaven knows all the things that must have went thru her mind as she heard this news. 

Here’s what I would have been thinking:  “Huh, are you talking to me?  Are you sure about this…I mean, I'm just an ordinary girl! I’m not special enough for this?  What will Joseph say, he’ll never want me now!?  What will my friends think, I’ll be disgraced! My parents are NEVER going to believe this ‘Yeah, right Mary an angel???  Couldn’t you come up with something better than that!  We know how this works and what you’ve really been doing!’ ….just a few thoughts off the top of my head.  Completely and utterly terrified is what I would have been (oh wait, maybe that WAS me - the day the doctor said “IT’S TWINS!” …but I digress here…).

Did I mention that historians believe that Mary’s age at the time was THIRTEEN?!?!?!!?  I am sure she was scared to death…truly praying for heaven to hold her together.  But the story never says she threw a fit, screamed, cried or begged to be let off (like Moses did).  Perhaps somehow in her mind she was given the peace of God to know that if He was going to entrust her with his Son, that he would also give her the strength to bear the burden of what the future was to bring.  A lesson we can all learn from.

On that night the Angel came she may not have fully grasped what the future held, that she would nurture, love and pour life into the Savior of all mankind, that she would watch him bring light into a world that didn’t even know it needed it.  That she would suffer the indignation of those who scoffed at his claim to be the Son of God.  

I imagine that had there been such a song in her day this would have been her prayer.  Not only on the night the Angel Gabriel brought this news to her, but all thruout the days as she watched her son grow and saw the power of God upon him, and knew that his life had far greater purpose than any other life on this planet would ever have.  No matter if he was Jesus, he was still her son and as a mother I cannot imagine her grief as she saw him rejected and suffer great pain and die by the hands of those he came to save.  I am sure her prayer that day was the same as the night she heard the news she was carrying the Son of God.  “Hold me together.”

Amy Grant and I go way back…like babies and bottles kind of way back.  She’s been a favorite artist of mine literally since grade school.  I can sing nearly every song she has ever recorded by heart.  From the day this Christmas album came out I have always loved this song.  I sang it every year at Christmas time in church growing up, and tonight it is the topic of this post.  I am sure you have heard it, but here it is, my favorite song by one of my favorite artists.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RVTZDgcpqM&feature=g-vrec

True Confessions...

I do love Christmas, anyone can see that.  However, this Christmas, I hate to admit this, I am dreading a little.  Tonight I’m going to be vulnerably honest and say that sometimes I get weary of being “brave” (whatever that means), of waking up every morning and dealing with life as I know it now.  I’m not always happy, I’m not always ready to pick myself up and stay positive.  This Christmas will be different for me and the girls.  Sure it will be happy and we will have fun.  But in the corner of my heart there will be a sad place where there once was none.  Loss, in whatever form it takes on, health, death, divorce, job, is never easy and never welcome.  

It seems the injustice of this life is never more apparent than at this time of the year; I suspect because there is so much emphasis on the “happy” of this season.  True there is some “happy” to be found everywhere if you look.  There are always things to be thankful for even in the midst of great pain, for if nothing else you know that somewhere there is someone who has suffered greater injustice in this world than you have.  I don’t know about you, but some days I get angry over life.  Some days I cry, others I wallow, feel cheated (that feels so unbecomingly selfish to confess), I fight bouts of all of it.  Often I find the best remedy for those moods is thanking God for all the blessings, and there always seem to be a few more than I usually remember. 

The truth of the matter is that God never promised a life serving him would always be happy or easy or joyful, after all He himself faced the ultimate in persecution, heartbreak and rejection worse than anything we will ever endure.  There is nothing more unjust than the world’s only perfect human having to give His life in the most brutal of all deaths to save us; the imperfect sinners. Thus far He has been gracious enough to give me the strength to survive what I hope to call the worst year ever. And even though there are days that I feel apprehensive about, I know they will come none-the-less, and I will face them just like I have every other day – with Him.  I look forward to the redemption of all that has been lost for both me and my sweet girls.  I know that if I stay faithful just as Job did, He will be faithful too and what has been lost will be restored seven times over. I suppose if not for the heartbreak and loss I would never really know what it means to be truly grateful for the blessings. He is STILL good!

So, my song for tonight is “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.”  If you have suffered, if you have faced loss, if you have been broken hearted, like the song says, “let us find our rest in Thee…Joy on every longing heart…”  He is with you.  He has not forgotten you. He has not left you alone. He will heal your broken heart.  He IS.  Just a beautiful hymn. However, I will say the absolutel best version i've ever heard was recently done by Marcy Priest of LifeChurch. You can download it free from iTunes.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Mathhew 11:28.  No matter what the new year brings, there is the comfort of knowing that no matter what you face in this life, if he is your Savior, your prize at the end of this life is eternity with Him and heaven.  That is worth enduring whatever it is this earthly life can bring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xal35DgmSUs&feature=related

I'm Dreaming...

I love old movies.  One in particular is White Christmas with Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney.  I watch it every December.  There's just something about it.  I love that time in American history and that people seemed to have integrity at the heart of their actions.  I know, I know, it's just a movie, but I think society was just different back then.  Not such an attitude of entitlement that seems to reign supreme these days.

The movie makes me want to learn to really dance (I don't think my two-stepping skills would cut it), fall in love and move to Vermont and have snow for Christmas always. HEHE! I think of Bing whenever I hear this song, no matter who sings it.  I don't think anyone can really sing it like he can tho, so tonight enjoy my favorite song from my favorite Christmas movie!

I'm always dreaming of a White Christmas!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXcNfA4qebQ

'Tis The Season...

For Christmas music!

Since the tender age of 5 when I began taking piano lessons, which would last even into my college years, music has been a very integral part of my life.  I love it, despite the fact I begged to give up taking lessons in high school (thanks mom, for telling me no, I am grateful!)  Thoughts, feelings and emotions can be expressed thru music in a ways which the spoken or written word can only dream of.  There’s just something about putting words to a melody that can touch you like nothing else.

I love all things Christmas; especially the music.  There’s a feeling this time of year that just isn’t same any other time of the year.  Not because of the shopping or the presents, but the actual spirit of the season.  The lights outside brighten up the dark nights, the Christmas trees inside give interest to the otherwise unchanging landscape of boring living room furniture (or kitchen or bedroom in my house as I have more than one or two trees).  The music though, warms my soul and brightens my world.  Whether it be the traditional sounds such as “Silent Night” or something fun and upbeat like “Run Run Rudolph” there’s just something about it.

So, over the next few weeks until Christmas I hope you will indulge me by letting me share my most favorite Christmas songs and a little about why they are.  I hope that you all will join in the spirit of the season and remember why it even exits at all. Without further ado, and in no particular order, I give you song #1!

 “O Holy Night”

This song really says it all, the one an only reason for Christmas at all; the birth of our Savior.  A night divine, indeed!  The day when the hope of all mankind was born as flesh and blood and the chance of redemption for every person made possible.  What an amazing night! I can’t even begin to imagine the Shepherds in the fields as they saw the Angel in the night proclaiming His birth.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen an angel and I can only fathom that if I had at that time I would either 1) fainted immediately or 2) required a new change of clothes.  Either way I would have realized something incredibly amazing was happening.

Here is my very favorite version of this song.  Sung by Katharine McPhee, it is the purest and most beautiful arrangement I’ve ever heard.  Something about just the piano and her quiet, clear vocals lend a grace to this song no others have matched, in my opinion.  I also have a thing for using minor chords in an other wise Major key and the bridge of this song is amazing.  I love to turn on this song, turn off all the lights, lay in the floor and let it just flood over me.  Yes, I know I’m strange, but you should already know that by now! :)  Just try it, I dare you, you’ll see what I mean!

Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwvsWf25qIE&feature=related

Don't tell me the odds...

2011. What’s there to say about this year, other than thank God it’s almost over! One freak thing after another it’s been for me this year, but that’s OK. I have survived and even more, survived with some sanity left and hopefully still with at least a little bit of grace becoming of a lady.

After a year like this one you have to believe that sometimes suffering and pain in life is “necessary” in a way to transform you into the person you were meant to be. Otherwise the concept that God is gracious and loving would be a lie and it is not.

I am sure all of us can point out and give ample reason to give up on hope, faith, love, kindness etc… But circumstances do not define us, happiness is not dependent upon people or situations. Rather, it is a choice made from a hopeful heart.

This time of year I have always been one who was anxious to see what the new year will bring and thankful for all that I was given in the past one. Perhaps many would say I didn’t have much to be thankful this time around. They couldn’t be more wrong. This year I am more thankful than ever for God’s grace, for strength for every new day, for the peace of knowing I AM strong enough to do this thing called “life.” Sometimes I may need a little help, reminders to get up and keep moving forward. That’s to be expected of all of us though, I think.

I admit I am the ultimate dreamer and eternal optimist. Hope is the soul of the dreamer. It only takes one true believer to believe you can still beat the odds. My wish for anyone reading this you also know that you have so much to hope for. Hope is renewable, forgiveness is the road of redemption, love is the heart of the world…and faith will beat the odds, and I’m just bettin’ you that so will I! Next year will be as astoundingly wonderful as this one has been unbelievable! I wish the same for you.

Just like the bee forever etched on my ankle.  I don't care if science, physics, people or circumstances tell me I wasn't made to fly.  I'm not listening.  You can find me in the sky! 

Just So You Know

GRATE-FUL    adj   \ˈgrāt-fəl\
Having a due sense of benefits received; kindly disposed toward one from whom a favor has been received; willing to acknowledge and repay, or give thanks for, benefits; as, a grateful heart.

Some days I tend to get caught up in my own little world. I don’t see everything around me, don’t notice life in all the amazing beauty it is. However, I’m learning to be more thankful, whether the things, people or circumstances be small or large.

You would think that for someone like me, who was by the world’s standards unplanned and unwanted from the beginning, that I would remember more easily how “lucky” I am. After all, being an unwanted unborn baby in the 70’s could be a pretty dangerous place if the mind of the woman carrying said baby was persuaded by the convenience of a procedure made legal thanks to Roe v. Wade. If such were the case, you would not be reading these words at this moment. Thankfully, God had a plan, just as he does for every life, whether you were “meant” to be here or like me, got here by “accident.”

This time of year, when Thanksgiving rolls around, people tend to be more aware of the blessings around them, which is great; but I wonder sometimes why it is the other 10 or so months of the year we lose focus of those things. I am guilty just as much as the next person. Humor me though, at least for a couple of minutes as you read thru the musings of this odd peculiar girl. I would like to say something to every one of you
If you are reading this, you are somehow, someway a part of my life. For each of you, if you asked specifically (and please feel free to do so if you are wondering, I would love to let you know!), I could tell you what you mean to me, how you have enriched my world, how I am a better person because of you. Some of you may already know, but it’s always worth repeating. Others of you may not know, but trust me, you have made an impact in some way. Though I try, I am not always successful in letting people know what they mean to me. So, I am taking this time today to say THANK YOU!

I am grateful beyond words to be in this world, to be given the blessing of each day. To have wonderful people who have poured into my life through good, wonderful, amazing times and in difficult, trying, heartbreaking times. There is a season for everything, but I never want to leave the season of “grateful”. I am humbled and so blessed that not only are you a part of my life, but that you have allowed me to be a part of yours. I hope that I will always leave a positive impact on your life, that I am the friend that you have been to me, that when you need me as I have needed you, that I have the chance to be the one makes your world a better place. Whether that be finger puppets on the wall with a flashlight when the power goes out from a huge storm (yeah, so what if I was 22yrs old!), spiked hot chocolate, kick-your-butt-stress-releaving exercise or just sitting with you listening when you need it. I got ya’ covered!

To each of you I say that you mean the world to me. I am so grateful to be here in this world to experience it all: good, bad, happy, sad, amazing, incredulous, awesome!

Oh, by the way - I don’t believe in luck, every good thing is a gift, so I’m BLESSED, no “luck” about it!



~Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.~  C.S. Lewis

Santa Baby...

Since on the very first day of November I was seeing Christmas commercials on TV, I would like to make known my wish list in case you should run into Santa, could you be so kind as to pass it on? And being the friend you are, I KNOW you aren’t gonna leave me hanging here, are you? What? Too soon to talk about the big guy? Not even Thanksgiving you say?? Oh well, it’s my blog! ;)


Dear Santa,
I would wish for world peace or something like that, but I’ve given up on that farce. If global warming were real I might wish you could end that as well, but since that’s just an invention from the imagination of Al Gore, I suggest you take that up with him (naughty list might be an appropriate gift for him if I do say so myself).

Now, I respectfully submit to you the top 10 on my wish list for this year. Please don’t feel that all 10 are necessary, one or two would tickle me pink. For your convenience I’ve prioritized them for you so you will know which are of most importance. I’ll leave my famous Scottish shortbread cookies in extra abundance this year, it’s worth the oven burns. Thanks!

Item #1
So, at the top of my list this year I’d really like a garbage disposal. Seriously Santa, this is no joke, quit laughing, I can hear that! I’m so tired of dumping old, stinky leftovers from the fridge in the backyard. It’s a pain in the butt! You think it’s not a big deal? I dare you, ask Mrs. Clause to go a week without using hers and I guarantee you’ll get it! At least she has reindeer to devour that stuff…who knows what kind of creatures I’m attracting back there!

Item #2
Right behind this is new brakes for my car, this is getting fun, right?? Yeah, when my daughter says, “Mommy why is the car screeching?” it might be time for a brake job. There’s nothing more I hate than having to spend money on cars – well, except maybe cleaning toilets….OH, and that leads me to my next item on the list.

Item #3
Santa, could you make my one small-ish child PLEASE flush the toilet every time she uses it, I would be forever grateful. Even making her clean it herself hasn’t worked so far. Thanks so much! (Perhaps it may take the Holy Spirit and the laying on of hands for this one, not sure, if you could just let me know…)

Item #4
Please make my kids stop saying “I don’t like that, I don’t want to eat that” when they haven’t ever tried it in their life.

Item #5
8 uninterrupted hours of sleep every night would be great, but if you could please make my kids sleep until at least 8am every Saturday, I’d believe in you forever!

Item #6
I would love it if you could make Sharpie markers invisible to everyone in the house but me. That way my Artist won’t be able to locate them to render “art” on mediums such as walls, towels and comforters that were not made for that particular kind of art.

Item #7
Could you please give me a will power of steel? That way all the time I spend exercising would not go to waste because I can’t resist that Twix sitting in the candy bowl or the chips in my parent’s house or whatever it is for the day I can’t seem to resist.

Item #8
Is there any way for you to provide that all lunches for the next day magically appear in the fridge for the next day without me having to prepare them? If not, maybe you could just send an elf for this purpose for a whole year. That would totally rock!

Item #9
Whatever that disorder is that makes me hit snooze every morning for 15 minutes straight. Could you fix that please?

Item #10
Last but not least, an endless supply of Excedrine – either that, or if you give me Items #1-#9 you can feel free to skip this one.


Thanks, Santa! You’re the best!
XOXO

Sincerely,
Sarah

Who I Am

Failure. Betrayed. Disgraced. Expendable. Used. Hurt. Afraid. Robbed. Insignificant. Powerless. Fool. Broken. Unworthy. Unlovable. 

You name it, I've felt it, especially this last year. If you know my entire story, consider yourself a close friend.  If you don't, sorry, maybe one day. :) Life can hurt; really bad sometimes.  More than I ever thought I would encounter.  It sucks (yes, that is a technical writing term, thank you very much!) when the ways in which you've identified yourself for years, in one instant, are shattered right before your eyes.  For me, even good memories are tainted with the skepticism of reality.  Was there anything true or genuine?  Perhaps I may never know. 

It can all do a number on your heart and head, for sure.  Remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the witch doctor rips out a guy's heart and you see it there beating in his hands?  At some point, if you have any feelings at all, life is bound to do just that, rip them right out of you and stomp them to death.  Leaving you a shell of what you once were and alone to pick up what's left to try to regroup and move on.  We have no other choice, but easier said than done, I'm sure you know. 

However, the silver lining is that when life sucks and I've listened to the lies of what my circumstances would have me believe about myself, I can remind myself that I am one of His redeemed.  I am the on that He loves, that is enough.  I refuse to be a victim.  I will not be pitiful.  sure, i will have my moments of weakness, of feeling less than what I am.  I will fall into those lonely places where I can't see His grace.  I WILL screw it up, a lot more than I would like to admit.  I will always be a work in progress.  But none of this really matters because I am who He says I am; beloved, redeemed, His. 

A good friend reminded me recently that despite the fact that life has not gone as I had planned, that this is certainly not where I ever thought i would be, that God still has a plan.  I am holding on to that like a fat girl with a KitKat (I can say that because that's what I used to be).  We all live in this world, and we all face life in all its imperfections; for the good that it is, the bad that it can be and the potential that it holds.  So, hold on to the good, let go of the bad, and let Him fulfill the potential He created in you.

I leave you with this song that I recently heard by Jason Gray.  It's been on repeat on my iPod for days now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKyY8zfjBMQ&ob=av2n

Pictures

I've always been intrigued by the story a picture can create in your mind.  The art of the eye come to life.  Taking pictures has long been a hobby of mine.  I'm just a novice, trying to learn more about all the work that actually goes into that "art." I think I've been taking pictures long before I was ever actually using a camera.  I love to people watch, imagine what's going on in a conversation between two people, or thru the mind of one person as they function in everyday life.  Finding yourself in the middle of a story about a person or a place can be an adventure of the imagination.  Something I've always loved. 

I thought I would take advantage of the beautiful weather today and get a little practice with my hobby.  Hope you enjoy a few of them.

Masters of the Universe and Such...

**Disclaimer - read at your own risk!* It's been two years since I've attempted this!**

It's almost Halloween, the time of year when people go a little crazy dressing up as characters they are not.  Not much different than real life really - just minus the costumes :)  To some extent we all wear masks that disguise what's underneath the surface.  To one group you are this, another group that, to all groups you "have it together" or so we would like them to think.

Over last couple of weeks I have joked with a friend that my Wonder Woman costume had gone missing, stolen by some rogue thief trying to ruin me. I suppose the truth of the matter is, I never owned the costume to begin with.  Even if I did have it, I doubt highly that I could access and make full use of the powers.  I am not and will never be Wonder Woman, unfortunately.  I will always be human, highly fallible and prone to stupidity at times. 

It is said that into every life a little rain must fall.  Forget the rain, this is a hurricane, baby!  Not to worry, it's only maybe a CAT3.  I guarantee somebody somewhere out there has it worse than me. Hurricanes come in all different categories and phases, strengths and sizes.  I'm convinced I manage to bring some of them upon myself.  But I try to remember they never last forever.  Perhaps if I were Zeus and ruled the air I could control some things, but alas, my powerful thunderbolt is gone too! I'm wholly out of luck.

When it comes down to it I am not the Master of any Universe, not even my own.  I don't want to be.  As I mentioned earlier, I am human, imperfect, and the last time I checked the role of God was filled.  It's a good thing too, because I can't handle my own life on certain days, I know I couldn't handle yours! :)

When I get tempted to get caught up in the hurricane and think "why me", I remember Jesus and think why NOT me.  I'm no more worthy of a life with no problems than anyone else in this world.  After all, even Jesus, who was perfect for crying out loud, faced the worst persecution and death.  Last time I checked no one was threatening me with a cross.

So, I will live this life to the best of my ability, no superhuman powers.  But I do have a superhuman God and I don't have to be the Master of my universe, because He is.  It's a good thing too because I think He forgives my shortcomings and mess-ups better than I forgive them. That's all you get from me tonight!