True Confessions...

I do love Christmas, anyone can see that.  However, this Christmas, I hate to admit this, I am dreading a little.  Tonight I’m going to be vulnerably honest and say that sometimes I get weary of being “brave” (whatever that means), of waking up every morning and dealing with life as I know it now.  I’m not always happy, I’m not always ready to pick myself up and stay positive.  This Christmas will be different for me and the girls.  Sure it will be happy and we will have fun.  But in the corner of my heart there will be a sad place where there once was none.  Loss, in whatever form it takes on, health, death, divorce, job, is never easy and never welcome.  

It seems the injustice of this life is never more apparent than at this time of the year; I suspect because there is so much emphasis on the “happy” of this season.  True there is some “happy” to be found everywhere if you look.  There are always things to be thankful for even in the midst of great pain, for if nothing else you know that somewhere there is someone who has suffered greater injustice in this world than you have.  I don’t know about you, but some days I get angry over life.  Some days I cry, others I wallow, feel cheated (that feels so unbecomingly selfish to confess), I fight bouts of all of it.  Often I find the best remedy for those moods is thanking God for all the blessings, and there always seem to be a few more than I usually remember. 

The truth of the matter is that God never promised a life serving him would always be happy or easy or joyful, after all He himself faced the ultimate in persecution, heartbreak and rejection worse than anything we will ever endure.  There is nothing more unjust than the world’s only perfect human having to give His life in the most brutal of all deaths to save us; the imperfect sinners. Thus far He has been gracious enough to give me the strength to survive what I hope to call the worst year ever. And even though there are days that I feel apprehensive about, I know they will come none-the-less, and I will face them just like I have every other day – with Him.  I look forward to the redemption of all that has been lost for both me and my sweet girls.  I know that if I stay faithful just as Job did, He will be faithful too and what has been lost will be restored seven times over. I suppose if not for the heartbreak and loss I would never really know what it means to be truly grateful for the blessings. He is STILL good!

So, my song for tonight is “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.”  If you have suffered, if you have faced loss, if you have been broken hearted, like the song says, “let us find our rest in Thee…Joy on every longing heart…”  He is with you.  He has not forgotten you. He has not left you alone. He will heal your broken heart.  He IS.  Just a beautiful hymn. However, I will say the absolutel best version i've ever heard was recently done by Marcy Priest of LifeChurch. You can download it free from iTunes.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Mathhew 11:28.  No matter what the new year brings, there is the comfort of knowing that no matter what you face in this life, if he is your Savior, your prize at the end of this life is eternity with Him and heaven.  That is worth enduring whatever it is this earthly life can bring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xal35DgmSUs&feature=related