All I need to know I learned in 2011...

There are not words descriptive enough to convey my elation that this year is days from being over.  If you have had any contact with me whatsoever in the last month you have undoubtedly heard the words "2012 BELONGS to me! Next year is going to be a GREAT year for me."  Just in case you were in doubt, these are not empty words ringing in your ears from my mouth.  I mean them and I believe them with all my heart. 

I have been thinking of all the happenings of this year, of the lessons it has taught me, what I have learned about myself and what I have learned about others.  So tonight I hope you don't mind if I share some of these things with you. 

• I cannot manage to keep my car clean.  This year I have accepted this sad truth and shall deal with myself accordingly.
• A garbage disposal is more important than you think (My letter to Santa was apparently lost in the mail.  Still don't have one!)
• One spur of the moment decision can change your life forever - (IE...going home early from work unannounced; chasing down your wayward cat....need I go on?)
• People can be amazingly mean and hurtful - on purpose
• True friends are worth more than all the gold in the world. They are the ones that will stand beside you when the crap is flying
• Guard your heart, nobody else can do it right
• When it comes down to it, for once in my life, I want a man who will fight for me - because I'm worth the effort
• I have learned in the most cruel of lessons how it feels to be used, betrayed and devastated
• I'm a little bit crazy - and I'm OK with that.
• Exercise is is my sanity. It's as good for my mind as my body
• It's OK to let go, and it's OK to dream new dreams (although this is much harder to convince myself of some days)
• Blondes do not necessarily have more fun
• The iPhone 4S's Siri can be great entertainment, especially when she advises your sister to go to the "bitch gym" and tells her to watch her language
• If you hear high heels, don't automatically assume it's a woman
• Just when you think your heart can't possibly break anymore, it does
• There are people who actually mean it when they say "I'm praying for you"
• Being strong comes out of necessity, not by choice
• An "I love you" from your child can save you on a day when you think it's all for naught
• It is possible to be feeling the highest of highs at 2am and the lowest of lows by 2pm on the same day
• How it feels to inexplicably find yourself in tears while doing the most routine and mundane of tasks, and you can't even explain why
• The value of a smile over the smallest of things
• Never underestimate the power of 8 consecutive, uninterrupted hours of sleep
• Good coffee is a pleasure not to be taken lightly
• Leaving your egg and cheese sandwich on top of the car as you hurriedly back out of the driveway is not advisable and does nothing for a set of dishes or your screaming tummy
• Low expectations of everyone is not necessarily a bad thing and can save you much disappointment and heartache
• The true meaning of Grace and Forgiveness and how both are necessary not so much for others as for your own peace and contentment
• $h!t happens, but I'm not a victim and I am not pitiful.  I am powerful
• What a true comfort music is - playing it, listening to it and wallowing in it
• The healing gift of laughter and what a gift God gave me in my uncanny propensity to laugh at ridiculously stupid things until water comes out my nose and tears are flowing
• The true meaning of "state of shock"
• Real, true, deep heartbreak and pain is not something you "get over." Rather it is something you learn to live with
• I really love to dance, especially in the living room with the girls when they shake their head and say "Mommy, you are so embarrassing!" :)
• Taking the high road generally sucks, but is usually the right and adult thing to do
• Mixing to much tequila and beer with the worst birthday in the history of all birthdays results in dances with sweaty bull riders, men who bathe in cologne and the involuntary testing of the "upchuck reflexes" and brings no sleep and absolutely no comfort.  Trust me, you don't wanna go there
• Being nice does not equate to being a doormat. My feelings are just as important as anybody else's
• How much I love that my girls say "KABLOOEEE!!!!" and "Oopsies"  - I'll be sad when they stop
• God still has good plans for my future and my girls

And THE most valuable thing I learned this year is: God IS with me, God WAS with me, and He WILL ALWAYS be with me.  No matter how much I may feel alone, I'm not.

The more I give thee, the more I have. For both are infinite - William Shakespeare

"...and a pawtwidge in a peah twee!"

This morning as I was brushing my daughter’s hair for school she was happily singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” which mostly consisted of her singing the words “something something something” and “Mee mee mee meee mee mee” (think Beaker from the Muppets here) to the melody of the song until she busted out loudly “FIVE GOLD RINGS!!!!” Then she counted down, “Four calling birds, three something hens, two turtle dumbs…” I started laughing, “WAIT!!! Rachel, did you just say two turtle DUMBS!?” I asked. “Yes!” she looked at me with that “Duh, mom” face, like I had just asked her if the sky was blue. “It’s not two turtle DUMBS it’s two turtle DOVES!” Then came that other look, you know, the one your kid gives you when they think you are the biggest moron in the world and they know better, and she retorted, “TURTLE DOVES??!!” throwing her hands up in the air to question me. “That doesn’t even make any sense! How can turtles be doves?” She pretended to ignore this discovery of new information and went on about her song, “Two turtle dumbs…” she sang. Then with her little sweet lisp she finished it off, “…and a pahtwidge in a peah twee!!” By this time I was laughing so hard I was crying. I know, I know, it’s not nice to laugh at your children, but sometimes it just simply cannot be helped.

We have all undoubtedly heard, and many of us can dutifully recite, the lyrics of the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” I would wager a guess that most everyone gets a little tangled up on the “twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing…” part, then you can sort of pick it up again at the “eight maids a-milking” usually. If you ask someone where they think the song came from and what they think it means you get a wide plethora of opinions.

Most believe it’s just a lover’s song written about gifts given to woo and win a coveted heart. Last year it was said that the total cost of all the gifts in the song totaled would cost you $23,439. Quite an expensive Christmas! Not to mention, what would one do with Twelve Drummers Drumming – that would get old fast! I certainly don’t have any place to keep eight maids a-milking and their cows…I’m afraid my barn just crumbled to bits last year. Ten Lords a-leaping – well, I’ll FIND a place to keep them! 

There has also been a deeper scholarly opinion written about the song. That it was written during a time in England when practicing Catholicism was a punishable crime and the song was a Catechism Song with each gift representing things such as Jesus (Partridge in a pear tree), to the twelve points of the Apostle’s Creed (twelve drummer’s drumming), and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (Seven swans a-swimming).

No matter what the case it’s quite a catchy little song with renditions ranging from The Muppets to more serious singers such Burl Ives, Bing Crosby and John Denver. My very favorite version of this song was done by the group Straight No Chaser, an acapella group of guys whose talent and creativity in arranging music is as good as their vocal talent. So, please take a couple of minutes and enjoy the Twelve Days of Christmas and have a smile. C’mon you know you can’t help it when you hear this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8&feature=relmfu

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells...

So, who can have Christmas without the song Jingle Bells?! Nobody! But here’s something you may not have known. Jingle Bells was written by James Pierpont in 1850 depicting stories of sleigh races held on Salem Street in Massachusetts in the early 1800’s. Oh, and did I also mention it was written and sung for Thanksgiving originally? Seems very strange to me, but perhaps back in the 1800’s sleigh races were to Thanksgiving what Football is to Thanksgiving these days.


It’s also strange that this of all Christmas songs has probably had the most paradies done of it than any other. I know you can all think of a few remakes of it…”Jingle Bells, Batman smells…” …you undoubtedly get the gist. Jingle Bells was the very first Christmas song my girls ever learned to sing, and of course, the very first one they learned an alternative version of as well.

No matter what the case, every time I hear it I have to sing along. It’s a fun happy song and I think of what it might have been like to live back in the days of horses and sleighs. Piling into one with your sweetheart and snuggling down under blankets and next to heated bricks to see the snow covered country side on your way to a grand Christmas party. My imagination is probably a lot more pleasant than it actually was, but a girl can dream right? I personally think sleigh races would be a lot of fun, but I’m sure I would likely have offended someone back in that day because I tend to be a bit unconventional at times, and not always on purpose either…I probably would have tried to manage the sleigh myself or hiked my skirt up a little far and accidently shown my ankles or something ridiculously inappropriate like that. Who knows. But it sounds like a fun time long before the age of technology ruined outdoor creativity and such.

Anyway, enough of my silly ramblings for the evening. I leave you with my new favorite version of this song, sung by the ever-so-nice-to-behold, Michael Buble! I love it because the energy of his version matches what I think the song was originally about. Plus the upright bass is totally rockin’!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf1_KykYpYs

Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever stop to think what life must have been like for Mary?  How it must have felt to have the angel Gabriel appear to you to tell you that YOU of all girls have been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God? Overwhelming doesn’t even begin to cover it.  Only heaven knows all the things that must have went thru her mind as she heard this news. 

Here’s what I would have been thinking:  “Huh, are you talking to me?  Are you sure about this…I mean, I'm just an ordinary girl! I’m not special enough for this?  What will Joseph say, he’ll never want me now!?  What will my friends think, I’ll be disgraced! My parents are NEVER going to believe this ‘Yeah, right Mary an angel???  Couldn’t you come up with something better than that!  We know how this works and what you’ve really been doing!’ ….just a few thoughts off the top of my head.  Completely and utterly terrified is what I would have been (oh wait, maybe that WAS me - the day the doctor said “IT’S TWINS!” …but I digress here…).

Did I mention that historians believe that Mary’s age at the time was THIRTEEN?!?!?!!?  I am sure she was scared to death…truly praying for heaven to hold her together.  But the story never says she threw a fit, screamed, cried or begged to be let off (like Moses did).  Perhaps somehow in her mind she was given the peace of God to know that if He was going to entrust her with his Son, that he would also give her the strength to bear the burden of what the future was to bring.  A lesson we can all learn from.

On that night the Angel came she may not have fully grasped what the future held, that she would nurture, love and pour life into the Savior of all mankind, that she would watch him bring light into a world that didn’t even know it needed it.  That she would suffer the indignation of those who scoffed at his claim to be the Son of God.  

I imagine that had there been such a song in her day this would have been her prayer.  Not only on the night the Angel Gabriel brought this news to her, but all thruout the days as she watched her son grow and saw the power of God upon him, and knew that his life had far greater purpose than any other life on this planet would ever have.  No matter if he was Jesus, he was still her son and as a mother I cannot imagine her grief as she saw him rejected and suffer great pain and die by the hands of those he came to save.  I am sure her prayer that day was the same as the night she heard the news she was carrying the Son of God.  “Hold me together.”

Amy Grant and I go way back…like babies and bottles kind of way back.  She’s been a favorite artist of mine literally since grade school.  I can sing nearly every song she has ever recorded by heart.  From the day this Christmas album came out I have always loved this song.  I sang it every year at Christmas time in church growing up, and tonight it is the topic of this post.  I am sure you have heard it, but here it is, my favorite song by one of my favorite artists.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RVTZDgcpqM&feature=g-vrec

True Confessions...

I do love Christmas, anyone can see that.  However, this Christmas, I hate to admit this, I am dreading a little.  Tonight I’m going to be vulnerably honest and say that sometimes I get weary of being “brave” (whatever that means), of waking up every morning and dealing with life as I know it now.  I’m not always happy, I’m not always ready to pick myself up and stay positive.  This Christmas will be different for me and the girls.  Sure it will be happy and we will have fun.  But in the corner of my heart there will be a sad place where there once was none.  Loss, in whatever form it takes on, health, death, divorce, job, is never easy and never welcome.  

It seems the injustice of this life is never more apparent than at this time of the year; I suspect because there is so much emphasis on the “happy” of this season.  True there is some “happy” to be found everywhere if you look.  There are always things to be thankful for even in the midst of great pain, for if nothing else you know that somewhere there is someone who has suffered greater injustice in this world than you have.  I don’t know about you, but some days I get angry over life.  Some days I cry, others I wallow, feel cheated (that feels so unbecomingly selfish to confess), I fight bouts of all of it.  Often I find the best remedy for those moods is thanking God for all the blessings, and there always seem to be a few more than I usually remember. 

The truth of the matter is that God never promised a life serving him would always be happy or easy or joyful, after all He himself faced the ultimate in persecution, heartbreak and rejection worse than anything we will ever endure.  There is nothing more unjust than the world’s only perfect human having to give His life in the most brutal of all deaths to save us; the imperfect sinners. Thus far He has been gracious enough to give me the strength to survive what I hope to call the worst year ever. And even though there are days that I feel apprehensive about, I know they will come none-the-less, and I will face them just like I have every other day – with Him.  I look forward to the redemption of all that has been lost for both me and my sweet girls.  I know that if I stay faithful just as Job did, He will be faithful too and what has been lost will be restored seven times over. I suppose if not for the heartbreak and loss I would never really know what it means to be truly grateful for the blessings. He is STILL good!

So, my song for tonight is “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.”  If you have suffered, if you have faced loss, if you have been broken hearted, like the song says, “let us find our rest in Thee…Joy on every longing heart…”  He is with you.  He has not forgotten you. He has not left you alone. He will heal your broken heart.  He IS.  Just a beautiful hymn. However, I will say the absolutel best version i've ever heard was recently done by Marcy Priest of LifeChurch. You can download it free from iTunes.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Mathhew 11:28.  No matter what the new year brings, there is the comfort of knowing that no matter what you face in this life, if he is your Savior, your prize at the end of this life is eternity with Him and heaven.  That is worth enduring whatever it is this earthly life can bring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xal35DgmSUs&feature=related

I'm Dreaming...

I love old movies.  One in particular is White Christmas with Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney.  I watch it every December.  There's just something about it.  I love that time in American history and that people seemed to have integrity at the heart of their actions.  I know, I know, it's just a movie, but I think society was just different back then.  Not such an attitude of entitlement that seems to reign supreme these days.

The movie makes me want to learn to really dance (I don't think my two-stepping skills would cut it), fall in love and move to Vermont and have snow for Christmas always. HEHE! I think of Bing whenever I hear this song, no matter who sings it.  I don't think anyone can really sing it like he can tho, so tonight enjoy my favorite song from my favorite Christmas movie!

I'm always dreaming of a White Christmas!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXcNfA4qebQ