Dear Dove Chocolate: Letters from a Lunatic

Years ago in my first job right out of college I had the great pleasure, and I do mean that as it was the best job I ever had, of reading letters written to the Congressman I worked for.  Most of them were of the boring nature, you know, about bills and such. Some irate, some mean, a few grateful ones here and there.  But what I lived for were those occasional letters we received that you had to question the mental state of the writer.  They were always great fun and if I had the time I would often write a good response to share only with the office staff.  Those were the best fun! 

I miss those days of writing quipey responses to the "crazies."  So, when I got myself a Valentine's bag of Dove dark chocolate hearts I discovered they added little messages inside the wrappers and my wacky writing days came flooding back.  I thought I would share these with you in a series until Valentine's Day.  Without further ado, I give the first installment of "Dear Dove Chocolate..." 

Laugh until your heart overflows
Why thank you Dove for the lovely suggestion but I think I'm going to need more info before I commit to this. Overflows with what exactly? Perhaps I don't want this to happen. After all, I have two kids, I’m not overly fond of cleaning up messes. Could you please provide more details? Great, thanks, you’re a peach! Love your dark chocolate! Sarah

Chocolate. Always your Valentine
Dear Dove, I have a bone to pick with you. How dare you! I’ll have you know that I have NEVER received chocolate (or flowers or PJ’s or anything but a card for that matter) for Valentine’s day. Are you just trying to rub it in? Now I think you’re just a big meanie. Just so you understand how offended I am, I will boycott your dark chocolate for one day….well, ok, that might be a little extreme. I’ll just wait until dinner instead of having my chocolate heart for lunch. Jerks.  Sarah

Go where your heart takes you
Dear Dove, what lovely advice!!! My heart keeps taking me to Hawaii so I guess that’s where I’ll go. Since it was at your suggestion I do this I’ll be expecting my plane ticket in the mail by the end of the week. What do you mean that’s not what you meant? Then what did you mean? Surely you are not suggesting that I foot the bill for such frivolity?! After all it was your prompting that spurred this decision to begin with. OK, then, now that we have that settled when will my ticket be arriving? Sarah